Most of us feel the same way about networking that we do about public speaking – it ranks right up there with our worst fears! The thought of having to network to find a job or meet people fills us with absolute dread. If only there was an easier way.
Well, there is.
A lot of us have a similar approach to networking – hand out business cards frequently and at random or repeat your name and job title over and over. You forget most of the people with whom you exchange small talk and the reality is, they forget you.
Maybe someone has taught you that networking, like other sales and marketing activity, requires a tangible return for your effort. Come back with a sale, get a lead, get hired. Perhaps you think networking is for phoneys.
Networking is not about instant gratification. There’s an APP for that.
Let’s look at what networking really is. Networking is not ‘finding a job’, ‘making a sale’ or ‘landing a client’. Networking with the goal of advancement as studied by Harvard Business school professor Francesca Gino, often makes people feel so bad about themselves that they feel “dirty”. If you are approaching networking with this type of specific goal (to advance yourself), then you are doing it wrong. These interactions can be a turn off if they are very obviously only transactional. That is, they are a turn off if you are only networking to get something for yourself.
What networking really is about is finding connections and building relationships and communities. It is your way of discovering and meeting people you may want to create a relationship with. The jobs, the projects, the deals, and introductions come as a result of putting time and effort into building and maintaining your relationships – not networking.
Why meet in person if you are only going to exchange names, titles, and companies – why not do this through a google search, email or even over the phone? Networking is a waste of time if you can’t tell people who you are. If you don’t connect.
If I say “hello I’m Danielle, I am a communication consultant” I am leaving it up to a complete stranger to guess who you really are. Are you OK relying on someone else’s perception and understanding of who you are and what you do?
When you are face to face with someone, you have the perfect opportunity to get to know them personally. You have the perfect opportunity to connect in a memorable way and gain some understanding of one another. Then you can start to build trust. After all, this is what a true network is about – having people you can rely on, people you can trust and that trust you.
So, how should you approach it? Most of us have the same basic needs, we want to connect, and we really just want to be remembered. We know that first encounters are much more memorable if there is a personal element to them. Use what you know about yourself and your own strengths to created targeted ways for others to understand you – engage in further conversation about who you are, what you are interested in and what you think.
I love talking about the weather. I will chat to people about the percentage chance of rain as well as what the relative humidity is at any given moment! I also love jewellery, so will comment on something I notice on someone I am talking to. This often leads to where they bought it, who gave it to them, and we can have an interesting conversation. If the other person is not interested, then that is OK! Move on. Networking does not mean you have to talk to and engage with everyone. Keep going until you find people who you are interested in talking to. Until you find something in common.
And remember – to be interesting, you have to be interested. People love to talk about themselves and their interests, so give them the opportunity to do that by asking questions.
If you have connected with someone on a particular topic or shared experience, you have a way to follow up that makes sense. You can send an article on a topic you spoke about, you can ask a specific question “did you finish that project”, “how was your trip to the beach”, or “did your dog get better”. Then through your connection – your commonality – you can build a relationship.
It is also easy to think that this task is too hard, that you don’t know where to start networking. The problem with thinking this way is that it overlooks the rich network you already have! You have a community of people that you talk to and see on a regular basis – people you care about. This includes:
- People you interact with daily / regularly for example local businesses, neighbours.
- People who have helped you get your job done.
- People you went to school with / did a training course with.
- People in your local sporting team.
- People in your church community.
- People in any local clubs you are part of – people who share interests with you.
- People you have worked with in previous jobs.
See how big your network is?
Start with your existing network and try connecting with them in a meaningful way. Work your way out from here and gain the confidence to connect with new people.
Networking does not have to be a chore, it can be an opportunity to meet interesting people and make real connections – who knows where that will lead?
Danielle Jorgensen, Brand and Communications Consultant